


Garrett & Cal WIP

by 8ami



Series: Garrett & Cal [18]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simonverse | Creekwood Series - Becky Albertalli
Genre: F/M, M/M, WIP, not finished
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28567782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/8ami/pseuds/8ami
Summary: I'm going to post all the partially finished one shots that I have for this series here.None of the will be finished.None of them will be edited.
Relationships: Garrett Laughlin/Cal Price
Series: Garrett & Cal [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1071840
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	1. Garrett's Birthday

**XX Middle of August ::** **  
** **Garrett’s Birthday**

“Who do you keep texting Laughlin? Anyone that can tolerate you is already here.” Jay calls as he falls down beside me on the grass interrupting Bram and I talk while a few more guys from the soccer team continue to kick the ball around. We had been playing a small game for a while before Spier and a few others showed up and then we switched over to kickball since Abby claimed an unfair advantage in continuing soccer. Plus kickball isn’t as physically exhausting, so really it wasn’t a hard fight for the change of games. But now most of the crowd is sitting down, talking, eating pizza and cake in honor of my birthday. I hadn’t really wanted presents and in exchanged convinced most of my friends into meeting up at the park in exchange.

The only real exception being Marcus from soccer who is visiting his family in Mexico and Cal because well… we aren’t just friends and it’s complicated and I’d have to have answers I don’t have if I got him to show. It doesn’t mean I don’t want him here and that I can’t text him though.

“Your mother, obviously.” I laugh putting my phone down before finishing the current text so that Jay can’t see the screen. Bram and Jay laugh though Jay flips me off and Bran shakes his head.

“Next time you invite me somewhere I’m just going to decline.” Jay informs me even though we both know it’s a lie. He sprawls out on the grass, his black hair spilling away from his face and it’s when I think he won’t be able to see my phone that I pick it back up to finish my text. 

Bram and Jay both notice. “Seriously - who ya texting?” Jay asks again and I can tell Bram wants to know as well even though he doesn’t add in commentary at the moment falling into his quieter side with so many people around.

“Does it matter?” 

“I guess not. But you’ve been glued to your phone and I figure who ever ya texting should be here if you got them on your mind so much.” The words roll about in my stomach and my grip on my phone tightens a bit unintentionally hitting letters on the keyboard. “I mean Lenny brought his girlfriend as are Bram and Spier here together and Candace hasn’t stopped flirting with Kyle since she showed up.”

It takes me a few minutes to understand how that second sentence relates to the first one. When I do I can feel my cheeks start to heat up and the words in my stomach turn to concrete slamming into the bottom unable to tumble any longer. “I’m not - this isn’t… I mean… ” I don’t know what the fuck I mean. I’m texting a guy that I’ve come to really like despite being something more like friends with benefits after figuring out I like guys. I can’t say that. But I don’t want to flat out lie to my friends. “Look, I’m not texting a girl.” I decide on a few heartbeats too many for them to believe me despite it technically being the truth.

“Sure, sure.” Jay outright calls me on what he thinks in a lie and is about to continue I think when Kelly Marksmen from the girls’ soccer team yells at him to come even the teams out for another game. “Duty calls.” He says departing leaving me and Bram.

I watch him go, until I can’t ignore the fact that Bram is looking at me. “Yes?”

“You’re not texting a girl.” Bram says, restarting my own words with a layer of subtext attached. Bram is aware that I’m pansexual, I remind myself. I didn’t give anything away. He already knew, I tell myself taking a few quick breaths. 

“That is… correct.” I respond slowly, dropping my gaze distantly to the pickup game. With my free hand, I start plucking at the grass beneath me.

“The same one?” Bram continues to ask and he sounds like he’s smiling or maybe like he’s content, but is very aware of what my body language is saying which is weird because I don’t know what I’m saying much less what my body is saying. 

I mean it’s not bad. That I’m texting Cal. Or that I’m keeping who I’m texting from my friends. It is a secret though. It is something I don’t want to be talking about with so many people around. I kinda don’t want to be talking about it in general. Just go back to texting Cal while my friends ignoring that part of what’s going on right now.

I bite the inside of my cheek. I don’t want to talk about it, but I kinda of want to talk about how much time I’ve been spending with Cal, how I really like him, how he sounds when he laughs, how hooked I am because of how awesome he is. Even more so because this is my best friend asking. I can feel one side of my lips turn up in a smile as I look back to catch Bram’s gaze. “...yeah. It is.”

Bram does smile then, really and nods like he’s happy for me which is nice of him and I wish it meant more could come from this thing with Cal because of it. Like if we were talking about some girl, it would be an easier conversation, it wouldn’t need to be colored blue. It would be a comfortable silence we fall into instead of this one that kinda wants to be nice, but is a little wobbly on my part.

“Oh.” Bram breaks the silence and turns back to me more alerted. “I got your present in Si’s car. Left it there so when I came today to help set up and you couldn’t find it and open it.” I would totally have opened it the moment I found it. That lack of impulse control thing, but I’m insulted anyways.

“What? It’s for me. I should be able to open it when I choose to.” 

“It’s planned to be yours. Until I give it to you, it’s still mine. Meaning until I give it to you it’s stealing.” Bram tries to reason, speaking much like in the way when he’s teaching any academic concept. 

But this isn’t English. This is my present. I’m not at all swayed by his sure demeanor. “That’s not how that works. It’s my present, so it’s mine.”

“I think I’ll just leave it in Simon’s car.” Bram threatens which has me scoffing and immediately getting to my feet surveying around until I find Spier with Leah and Abby sitting at one of the park benches that we’ve taken over. Abby is sitting on the tabletop while Spier and Leah are on the bench. 

I start to walk over, but when Bram realizes where I’m going he gets to his feet propelling me into a quicker pace. I hit the pavilion the tables are under, “Spier! I need your keys.” I demand, with a look over my shoulder, “quickly before your boyfriend gets over here.”

Sixteen to seventeen.

With friends - soccer or kickball with large group (soccer friends, simon and them, etc) Then with jut main core something like mario kart. Friends teasing him about who he’s texting all the time since all his friends are here.

With Cal - Truck bed, countryside, stars and silly stories.

  
  


Cal creeps out of his house, overly quiet, wearing worn plaid pajamas and a plain white tee. He’s barefoot and thus stops at the end of the driveway instead of crossing the street where I’m leaning against my idling truck. I grin all loose and pleased from spending all day with my friends playing soccer and kickball as I jog over the gravel to stand in front of him. Cal crosses his arms in this manner that makes the small smile he’s wearing a smirk and I don’t regret for a moment leaving the mario kart tournament Bram had set up with our closer friends early to come here. I was losing anyways.

“Hey.” I greet.

Rolling his eyes, “wanna tell me why you had me sneak out here at eleven?”

“It’s a surprise, well, it is if you want to go for a drive with me.” I explain breathing a little rushed as my excitement for the brilliance of my plan starts to bleed into worry that Cal won’t come with me. I decide to up the ante. “It’s my birthday are you really going to tell me no?”

“I wouldn’t say no even if it wasn’t your birthday.” He admits a little color to his cheeks that cause me to bite my lip and feel a little warm. “Let me grab shoes.”

“No need.” I don’t want to risk his parents catching him by having him go back inside. He looks puzzled for all of the ten seconds it takes me to lift him off the ground by wrapping my arms around his thighs. Cal’s arms uncross as they find stability on my shoulders, leaving me laughing as I look up to see him looking at me like I’ve lost the little sense I had. 

I cross the street keeping him flushed against me, until I have to shift just a bit so that I can grab the door handle before he does. “I swear if you drop me…” Cal warns, but I’m already putting him down safety on passenger seat. He still has his hands on my shoulders so I don’t move away right away. I match his smile wondering if today could go any better, really, when he leans down to give me a quick kiss that’s all teasing lips.

Cal pulls away to settle correctly into the seat and I quickly go around my truck to get in on the driver’s side. Once in, before I touch anything else, I pull Cal back into me in order to kiss him more thoroughly. Cal makes a sound that's between a moan and a hum and it does straight through me, actually making me whine when I have to pull away because as much as I want to continue kissing him I have a plan, thank you.

xx

“Hey, no - you’re interrupting my story!” I exclaim leaning my head back as far as I can to keep him from kissing me which is such a bizarre notion it has me laughing all on it’s own.

He groans, “Really?”

“Yeah, it’s a good story.”

Cal stares me down then, but I don’t cave and he just groans again pressing his forehead to my chest. “Fine, fine, but if I listen to your story then I can kiss you again?”

“Absolutely.” I’m quick to agree and he chuckles rolling his face against my chest in what’s suppose to be a shake of his head before settling back into my side with his head resting between my shoulder and bicep so that he can watch my face. One of his hands lays on my chest while my hand that’s around him rests on his waist. I use my free hand to add dramatic motions to my story. 

xxx

“...and the end.” I conclude, keeping Cal close to me as he loses his hold on me to laughter. He’s shaking his head, but he’s all smiles with this pretty light in his eyes that’s way better than the night sky could ever hope to be. Wow… wow, he’s pretty.

I slow down, my amusement giving away to amazement over just who I have in my arms. 

When his laughter dies, “You are so weird.” 

“Weird?” I exclaim jumping back into glee. I’m not sure if he quite notice myself getting taken up by him and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, but I’m a little relieved regardless. “That was a masterpiece!”

“No, the works of William Shakespeare is a masterpiece.”

“Psh.” Waving off his judgement I give out some of my own, “you drama nerd.” I set him off laughing again and it settles me back into just how amazing he is.

Shaking his head, Cal leans up into me. “I think I’ve earned my kiss now for putting up with all of that abuse.” And I want to continue the joke, but I’m smiling too much and I can’t look away from his face long enough to register that I should lean down to close the distance. He bites his lip, “uh, are you going to kiss me?” I realize the lip biting was out of nerves.

“Yes, in just a few minutes.”

“A few minutes?”

“Yeah… I’m trying to make sure I remember you like this.” I know I’m blushing at that, my words quiet in the night air and giving more away than I ever planned. But that seems to be a recurring case with Cal and I.

There’s a bit of apprehension in his voice when he asks, “like what?”

And really, despite knowing I don’t have to, that I could play this down, I answer with the truth. “Breathtakingly gorgeous, laughing like this.” With my hand that’s not on his back, pressing him close, I brush at his bangs so lightly that I don’t know if he would feel me doing it if it wasn’t that he could see his hair move.

Cal still looks happy, all bright and light, but his mouth has parted and there’s a cloak of disbelief over his features. I’m trying to think of something else to say, but putting together thoughts is a little hard right now. Eventually, it’s Cal that surges forward colliding our lips together in need.

xx

I tear my lips away from his, but he’s not done kissing me and my words end up broken, “is that… your phoooane… phone?”

“Of course not.” Cal answers and then jerks away from me, freezing so quickly I think he might have literally been frozen. I’m still low on blood flow and oxygen, but I can tell something is wrong. I don’t know what it is and I don’t really know what to do as I can only manage to stare at him. “That is my phone. Oh - shit.” Cal curses, rolling off of me so that he can get his phone out of his pajamas pocket. He reads the caller ID, running a had over his hair. “Shit. It’s my mom.”

“Well.... answer it?” He looks at me like I’ve lost my goddamn mind, “I mean, so she knows you aren’t like dead or kidnapped right?”

“You did kidnap me.”

“You came willingly,” I correct more amused than I have any right to be. I’m pretty sure it’s just hysteria.

Cal hasn’t looked away from his phone’s screen. The light from it casting shadows across his features. “I’ll just text her.”

“Alright, alright. Let me get you home.”

“Happy birthday, Garrett.


	2. I'm not Jealous

**XX Middle of October ::** **  
** **I’m not Jealous**

####  Chapter 1 - Cal & Kelly Coffee

It must be pouring out, I think, as I pick up the music the rain is playing on the roof of the school. Normally, I can’t hear anything but what’s happening inside, especially with everything that’s going on in the auditorium. I spare a thought to Garrett playing soccer drenched in rain and mud and a gleaming smile, wondering if his practice has been called or not. They have a game this weekend, so it depends on how ready the coach thinks they are on if she calls it or not.

I almost pull out my phone to text Garrett, to just check on him, but stop myself from appearing needy just in case he takes the inquiry that way. I don’t think he will, but there’s enough worry to stop me. 

Besides, I’m supposed to be listening to things going on on stage, not thinking about my boyfriend, because Garrett Laughlin actually is my boyfriend. A fact that I can say aloud without a doubt now. I don’t fight the smile that comes to my lips at that thought despite the rest of my head. 

“Cal!” Ms. Albright calls from across the stage, I snap my attention to her. “Help Ms. Coffee and Mr. Spier here go over scene three in the second act. I need to - Mr. Anderson! That is not a toy!” She leaves Kelly and Simon’s sides, marching over to a group of three in the back playing with some of the props. 

A frown bites into my lips or maybe I just bite my lip as I let my gaze fall back to the two I’m suppose to be helping. I like Simon. He’s funny and cute and nice and easy to work with. It’s been good getting to know him better as a friend while hanging out with Garrett. And Kelly. She’s a year below Simon and I and while she has a bit of nicety to her, it mostly comes at the cost of getting her something.

Some people say she and Taylor act similar - arrogant, dramatic, and a little cut throat - and maybe I’m just bais, but I disagree. Or rather, I disagree about the foundation of it all and I think that matters. Taylor’s worked for her spotlight with hours of rehearsals and discipline, striving to be the best, because she needs to in order to even remotely get her parent’s approval. For Kelly, it’s obvious she’s her parent’s pride and joy. She expects to be held up on a pedestal for her skills - and she is talented - not because she worked and deserved it, because that’s how she’s always been. She doesn’t strive for better, just expects it.

I’m a little bitter over that on Taylor’s behalf.

Still, my personal feelings for Kelly aside, I need to help her and Simon with the scene so that the play goes well. Taylor would hang me if I let something like this ruin the play. I’d let her too. 

I get up from the seat I’ve taken in the front row in order to take notes in my binder and walk over to them. I don’t get up on stage as they come to the edge of it to talk to me. Simon practically falls when he takes a seat to be on eye level with me with his goofy grin that’s just a hint of embarrassment at the edges suggesting he hadn’t meant to be so dramatic sitting down. He plays it off well, really. 

After a second of looking between Simon and me, Kelly sits down too. She sits at the edge, legs hanging off the stage crossed pointedly, but she misjudges the distance and ends up pressing a little close to me at the end. I take a side step away from her since it’s easier for me to readjust tha her, setting the binder on the stage in between them opened to the scene Ms. Albright wanted me to go over with them.

After a few minutes of talking, it’s clear they’re messing up on cues and sequencing, especially when they both question the order of the scene I have written down. It’s been reworked from the original plan, so I understand why they’re confused, but I am hurt that for a minute they doubt my ability as stage manager. I let that feeling fall to my feet, shifting my weight at the added strain.

There’s actually three characters in this scene, but Bret Henderson is home sick today, so I offer to read his lines while taking them to one of the practice rooms where I know a keyboard is set up. It won’t sound the same as the piano in the auditorium, but having them hear the music for the scene will give them the pacing and cues good enough to recall later. They’re both more than agreeable to the idea and Ms. Albright gives me the keys to the practice rooms without a single hesitation which is always a little strange to me.

I know I’ve earned the trust, but there’s still a weird sensation in be giving responsibility shaped into a small metal device that I can fit in my palm from someone I look to as an authority figure. I know I’ve earned the trust. I know I have. I hold the keys a little tighter just in case and hug my binder to my side a bit more.

I unlock the door letting them both enter before me, and with a second breath I follow in taking a seat at the keyboard. I set up my binder to the right page in front of me on a stand so that I can see it and play at the same time, while Simon and Kelly stand off to my right.

The scene starts off with Kelly and Bret’s characters, Rebecca and Jonathan, talking in secret about their affair - how they should stop, how they love the other people they’re with, and how they just couldn’t work together with who their families are all the while kissing and holding hands. Basically, their actions are supposed to be the opposite of what they’re saying showcasing their struggle of actually caring for each other, but knowing they shouldn’t.

Simon’s character, Paul, walks in on them, at first all he hears is them talking, and he’s unsure what exactly it means - a factor made clear to the audience by an aloud internal monologue while the rest of the scene freezes - until he sees them kiss causing him to bump a vase that draws the couple’s attention. The scene ends with the three of them just staring at each other, lights fading, leaving the a bit of mystery of what happens next for the audience. A fact that is played up when Simon’s character Paul is found dead which may or may not have been due to Rebecca and Jonathan.

It’s a pretty standard scene in any romance subplot, I think.

It’s a pretty standard scene for secret relationships, I think. 

There wasn’t any scene like that for Garrett and I, though. No one discovering us by accident. Maybe that’s because until a couple weeks ago, we didn’t actually have a relationship - just secrets. I shake my head of the thoughts as soon as they come.

“Okay, so Rebecca and Jonathan are talking for a few lines, the music is going to be soft here. The music will dip like this,” - I play a few keys, starting peacefully before adding in wave of tension to the sound - “this is were the two start to tell each other they need to stop. It’s going to drop again when Paul comes in and goes into his monologue.” I explain watching my fingers play across the keys. “There’s going to be major drop here for a second and that’s the moment Paul bumps the vase, causing it to fall, followed by complete silence in which all three characters are just standing, staring at each other in shock.”

I run through the music a second and third time, until they think they can pick out the changes and can match that with what’s they’re supposed to do. I’m pretty sure that by the end of practice today, they’ll both have it down. They’re both talented after all.

At the end of the third run through of the music, Simon’s voice catches my attention causing me to turn in my seat to face him while he speaks. “You know, this is really helpful - hearing the music for the scene, Cal.” He’s looking down at his own copy of the script until the end of his words in which has him looking up to give me a smile that I return glad to be of help.

“It’s only helpful, because of your skills at the piano, Cal.” Despite the words sounding like a compliment, it’s framed like she’s correcting Simon somehow. Maybe that’s just because she goes from smiling at me all to sweet to peering down at Simon daring him to argue a point he didn’t actually counter.

Simon exchanges glances of confusion over her with me. I just shrug before thanking Kelly for the compliment and suggesting they do a read through. Something Kelly is more than to jump onto in order to showcase her skills.

At some point during the first read through Kelly ends up taking a seat next to me on the bench in front of the piano. Really, it’s not that big of a bench. I pause, fingers stalling, before starting a second round. “Kelly, do you think you can stand? It’s a little hard to play with you so close.” I ask quietly.

She turns her body as well as her head to look at me, “Oh, I’m sorry - it’s just that Rebecca and Jonathan are suppose to be close to each other in the scene. I was just getting use to the positioning.” Despite apologizing, she doesn’t get up and after a second I give in nodding to her explanation letting my eyes fall back to my fingers.

“ - can’t continue this.” Kelly says acting distraught, facing me on the bench. She places an elegant hand on my shoulder for a moment like she has the previous times to indicate that there’s a kiss or some other physical gesture between the two characters. “I’m sorry, darling, but you are not my darling.”

I read the lines for Jonathan straight, I don’t particularly enjoy acting - I don’t think I’m particularly good at it. I just the things that go into it allowing someone else to act. “And you are not my love, but you taste as sweet.” Another hand to my shoulder as I hit the cue for Simon’s character to drop the vase.

“Oh golly!” Simon cries as Paul and Kelly pulls her hand back like she’s burned, catching Simon’s gaze as they freeze in the silence of the piano.

“I’d make suggestions, but I believe you two have the scene down now.” I say spinning in the direction away from Kelly on the bench to face the room. Simon grins at the compliment and Kelly nods like she had it down all along.

I’m about to suggest calling it, when there’s a knock on the open door of the practice room. Garrett’s standing there hair soaked and jersey top plastered to his skin. He’s changed into jeans and sneakers from his cleats, but apparently he decided he needed to test my resistant. If the change to his smile means anything, then he’s definitely noticed how I’m looking at him.

“Are dry shirts overrated?” I ask in greeting, verbally acknowledging his teasing.

“Completely.” He answers instantly and then adds with a bit of heat to his cheeks, eyes darting to the other two in the room. “My shirt wasn’t as drenched as the shorts were, and it’s still raining.” I suppose that makes sense, but I roll my eyes at him anyways.

“Is Bram here?” Simon interjects and I’m a little glad for the change of conversation. 

Garrett nods, “yeah, he’s out in the auditorium with Nick and Abby waiting for Leah.” He hooks a thumb in the direction of the auditorium and Simon smiles letting his script flip shut.

“Wait, can we run the lines one more time?” Kelly asks speaking over the possibility of anyone else. She then points a finger at Garrett while looking at me, “He can read the lines for Jonathan so that you don’t have to focus on both - to really get a judge of where I stand with the scene.” She explains, offering on Garrett’s behalf.

There’s a lot in that sentence, but the major takeaway is that she’s looking to impress me with her talent, to let me really see her skills as an actress so that I might give her a better part in the winter play. Ms. Albright makes the final calls on roles, but as stage manage she takes my opinion into matter and I’m present for all auditions. It’s a pretty known fact, one that most students don’t think twice about because they trust that I’ll be fair with my suggestions - which I am.

Regardless of facts, though, I’m very away that Kelly thinks Taylor got the lead role for this play because she’s my friend. And it seems instead of being spiteful about it towards me, she’s decided that she’s going to try use my status in her favor, showing off as much as she can. It’s not the first time I’ve noticed, but it is the first time she’s said as much, leaving me with less questioning of my own thoughts.

All of this means, though, is that she’s going to go all in on this last read through. It won’t be just the lines, she’ll do the actions and the expressions and really get into character despite this practice was just about pacing. 

“Uh, I don’t mind staying for one more read.” Simon offers up before I’ve worked through everything in my head. One agreement is apparently enough for Kelly, because she smiles brightly and then walks over to Garrett. She takes his arm and leads him into the room while he looks alarmed.

“Read what?” He asks looking at me and I don’t fight the little tug of a smile at the wrinkle above his furrowed brow that shows up when he’s trying to figure something out.

My smile falls down sharply when Kelly explains to him that he’ll be reading the part for Jonathan without taking her hand over his arm. “... and you can use my script since I won’t need it.” She tells Garrett pushing her copy into his hands. He nearly drops it not expecting it. 

I don’t let the papers settle into his grip, before swiping them. “Do you mind playing the music for the scene, Garrett? I can read the lines.” I ask, offering both because I would really like it if Kelly took her hands off my boyfriend, but also because I know Garrett likes piano and does to like reading.

“What? Oh! Music - yeah, I can do that.” He agrees eagerly, taking my seat at the keyboard while putting his bag down beside him. I turn away from Kelly and Simon, leaning onto the bench close to Garrett to point at the lines he’ll need to play. He nods along to my words, listening to me as he tries to focus on what I want from him. 

I really want to kiss him for that, but what we do with people that aren’t our friends around is still up to him. Some days he’s more comfortable than others, but soccer has the ability to either really relax him or really get him worked up and I haven’t quite worked out how to pick up on the differences yet since I don’t always see him after practice.

Once, Garrett understands when he needs to do, I turn back to face the other two while sitting down on the bench besides Garrett. I catch Simon’s gaze and he arches an eyebrow at me with a smile that has me blushing and ducking my head, hiding beneath my bangs for a few seconds.

“Okay, lets start, shall we?” I ask without looking up fully.

Kelly agrees with her whole body, seemingly excited to have more of my attention than she thought she was going to get with Garrett reading and my back turned at the piano.

There’s three scripted kisses, all short since it’s a high school play, in the scene.

Kelly kisses my cheek two times while in character for the first two, both of which causes Garrett to miss a key I note. The third kiss is right before Paul drops the vase. With a deep breath I start that line on cue.

“And you are not my love, but you taste as sweet.” I’m expecting another kiss on my cheek, but Kelly apparently thinks this last kiss should have more behind it. She’s already close to me, so she has no problem, dropping her head onto my shoulder like she’s been physically hit by the conflict her character is suppose to be going through, before straightening up just enough to kiss my on my lips. 

There’s a drop in the music, but it’s early and off tone.

“Oh Golly!” Simon cries sounds more like an actually cry of shock than he’s done before. Kelly breaks the kiss and turns sharply to stare at Simon still completely in character and completely missing how I’m staring at her in shock.

One second. Two. Three.

Kelly jumps, moving to give me space, “So what did you think of me?” She asks giving me her attention.

I blink a few times, really take in the realization that it really was just in character for her, nothing more, and that the question is about the scene and not the too-long kiss on my lips. “Uh, very good, really.” I end up saying, “A huge improvement on pacing from when we started. I’m impressed.” 

She smiles at the compliments, sure she deserves them, before gather up her things including the copy of the script in my hands and leaving with a single goodbye that includes how she’s going to go tell Ms. Albright about the improvement.

“Well… I’m going to go find Bram.” Simon says a little wide eyed at me. “Thanks for the help, Cal.” He adds when he’s at the door leaving my boyfriend and me alone in the room.

“No problem.” I say with a wave of my hand that’s half-hearted.

I think about saying something about Garrett playing off key, a jest only because I know Garrett is aware of his own mess ups. He knows what he’s doing with a piano. But I swallow the words when I rotate to face him on the bench to find him frowning. The frown bites at his features, cut sharp at the edges that makes me think of anger rather than disappointment or frustration or sadness.

I wait on him to say something. I don’t have to wait long. “Being impressed with her pacing isn’t code for something else - something like her kissing or her in general, is it?” 

“Absolutely not.” I don’t have to think of the reply, but it still crosses my lips a little slow as I take in the idea that he thinks I could be cheating on him, that I want to cheat on him. The thoughts make me frown just as hard. “She was just in character.”

“Did that mean she had to kiss you?”

“For her, yes. She’s trying to showcase her talents in hopes that I pursade Ms. Alright into giving her a better part next semester.”

“Did you know that before? Because you told her you’d read with her.”

“So that she wouldn’t kiss you.”

“Oh.”

“Kelly probably didn’t even think about it outside of the scene. Besides, she doesn’t even know we’re dating so she didn’t think about it regards to us.” I defend. Garrett visible flinches at that and I instantly feel just as bad as he does.

His shoulders sink a little and he looks away from me down to his hands as he places them onto the keys of the piano. “Sorry. Yeah, okay, sorry. It’s just… I really didn’t like when she kissed you.”

“I didn’t like it either if that helps.”

“That helps a lot actually.” I shake my head and lean over to kiss him on his cheek, wanting us to be good.

He turns enough to wrap his arms around my middle, pulling me closer to him. I find it easy to settle against him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and resting my head in the crook of his neck. 

####  Chapter 2 - Garrett & Melanie Hampton

Physical Therapist

Awkward & Misunderstandings, Classics

Melanie's BF is goals.


	3. Second Round of Naps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I 100 percent don't remember writing any of this.

**November::** **  
** **Second Rounds of Naps**

November 5th

I’m tired and I’ve been tired all week. 

There’s a full month before the school play is put on and, in all honesty, I don’t see it coming together. Martin keeps skipping reading practices despite being a lead. Abby hasn’t gotten down her stage cues yet. The prop department is behind a full week and I’d ask Dad to help with that expect he just got hired on constructed the frame of some weird architect's dream home that consists of way too many angles and curves. Oh, and now I have to 

At least, Simon’s been nailing his scene

It also doesn’t help that Taylor’s brother got engaged and it’s got her stressing about the perfection of the play earlier than usual meaning most of our conversations lately steer towards theater. 

Which normally would be fine, manageable and even something I would enjoy, but I’m tired. 

So no, please.

I’m still laying down on the couch when I hear my mom open the front door, greeting someone. I know it’s Garrett. He texted earlier, asking if he could come over. Given his situation at home and the fact that I want him there as little as possible I asked my parents and told him yes. I also told him I was tired, though, so I’m hoping he won’t mind just laying down on the couch with me.

  
  
  
  


I startle awake - back pressing into the back of the couch, body twisting to see up into the room, hands rising as if to protect myself, my heartbeat skyrocketing for the few seconds it takes me to register it’s Garrett standing beside the couch above me.

“What are you doing?” I mumble, lips sticking, as he flops himself on his side right in front of me. I wonder how close he is to falling before becoming aware of the beautiful smile on his face, reaching his eyes and making him look so happy and good that I almost instantly forgive him for scaring me awake. Almost.

Garrett’s grin widens and he leans forward to press a kiss to my cheek and then right under my eye and then my nose before leaning back while tangling his hands with mine. “You’re so cute.” He says for explanation and I know I’m tired, but I’m pretty sure that didn’t answer my question at all.

“Huh?” I manage after my sleep heavy mind decides it really isn’t following. Garrett just giggles and presses a short kiss to my lips, pulling back before I even have a chance to respond before peppering the rest of my face with similar sweet, quick kisses.

I squirm under the affection, pressing further into the couch, but Garrett just laughs a little loud and presses closes. He at least stops the onslaught of kisses to bury his face into neck where his breath ghosts my skin.

He pulls back enough to see my face before laughter threatens his lips again and he’s back to hiding his face. It happens a few more times with my confusion growing so that I’m sure it’s on my face until I realize that Garrett is trying to  _ calm down. _

“What’s got you laughing so much?” I ask into his hair after he ducks his head the fourth time. 

He doesn’t say anything, do anything right away and then when I start to feel his breathing even and I don’t hear any giggles escape his mouth, he pulls away to look at me. This time staying put with this wide grin and happy eyes and strong jaw and perfect lips…

“You’re just so cute. When you were just laying here, sleeping, you looked so cute and peaceful. And when I woke you up you looked so grumpy - it was so adorable. So cute. That’s you… and it just makes me really happy to be with you.” The words fall quickly from Garrett’s lips, his cheeks dusting a light pink until the last sentence when he pauses, takes a deep breath and calmly melts my heart. 

Why is he so perfect? 

Well, he isn’t, not really - no one is, I’m fully aware of that, but I’m also aware that Garrett has the unmistakable ability to be so sweet that sometimes I forget that. He has no idea how sweet he is too. To him, it’s not odd to say such things. To him, it just makes sense to share that little bit more with people. He doesn’t realize not everyone does those things. 

Those are the things that had me hooked on him, that keep him hanging on in the summer, that make my day a little brighter now that we’re in the fall.

I smile softly at him because he deserves to be treated with care, “I’m happy being with you too.”


	4. Taylor Interjects

XX Beginning of November::   
Taylor Interjects

I’m on my way to lunch having been asked to stay back by my science teacher. It’s been pretty clear all week that she’s been wanting people to enter the county science fair, and today she had asked me to consider it.

I don’t know. She suggested some cool ideas and maybe it would be fun, but it would certainly cut into my spare time which isn’t much between school, homework, and soccer. Plus, I want time to be with Cal.

I’m a little lost in thought when Taylor steps in front of me causing me to jump a stop. 

Taylor confronts Cal about keeping secrets from her (Garrett’s parents). Reminds him of the last time he was keeping secrets (freshman year boyfriend). And he wants to tell her, but ultimately doesn’t.

Worried, Taylor confronts Garrett. He’s defensive, but ultimately (when he says he knows about Cal’s ex already, only for her to tell him ‘ask him again’ and that sets in doubt) he admits that he worries about Cal, about how he’s affecting Cal. There’s a moment of quiet, before Garrett tells Taylor about his parents (I’m not doing this because I want you to know, because I really fucking don’t, but I think… I think it would be good for Cal to have someone that’s not me, someone that isn’t directly linked to me about this. Surprisingly enough, she thanks him.

Later, in a different story, Garrett notes how she never looks at him with pity, never tells him she’s sorry for his parents, never acts like he’s going to break if she says the wrong thing. She doesn’t hesitate around words like mom, dad, parents, and it would be a little insulting (a little like she didn’t care) except for all the ways it isn’t - how much he needed someone to treat him like that. 

He might ask her about it in a follow up piece or in that piece. She say, “I’m not my parents favorite child either. It’s different for me, for you, but I think the bottom line is the same - we’re never going to have a good relationship with our parents, we have to guide ourselves.”


	5. Cal's Mom

**XX Beginning of November::** **  
** **I Didn’t Know This Was Part of This**

So, Cal’s mom makes me nervous. Usually, I’m really good at meeting parents. They tend to like me without me having to try too hard, so the fact that his mom apparently does not like that I’m dating her son has me off kilter. Cal swears she actually does like me, she’s just over-protective and nosy, but I’m not sold. Especially when I’m over at their house to watch a movie with Cal, she keeps finding reasons to come into the living room to spy on us.

I haven’t been able to really watch the last two movies we’ve watched because every time she comes in, I jump and when she’s not in the room I’m on edge waiting for her to come it. I have no idea how she’d react if she actually caught us doing anything.

Cal is not worried. At all. No, apparently, he thinks all of this is brilliant and activity does not help my situation. He likes to lean into me when she’s leaving but not quite gone. He likes to distract me with a hand on my knee and a kiss on the cheek. I’ll jump back when his mom comes in the very next second obviously ‘not’ doing anything. She always arches one eyebrow at me when I do this and I give her this awkward smile that has Cal rolling his eyes. It’s worse when she comes in, but stays in the back of the room at the desk there, because Cal likes to keep his hand there on my thigh, drawing circles with his fingers tips, moving his hand further up my leg out of view from his mom. I think he’s trying to see how far up my leg he can get before I remove his hand. He’s driving me crazy with it.

And all of it just kinda sucks, because I want to have Cal  _ besides _ me and not just along the couch with me. I want to wrap my arms around him and enjoy the movie without jumping like before when I would come over. Though, before, I would come over when no one but Cal was home so there is that, I supposed.

She’s in and out more frequently today, and it’s hard to hide how it’s affecting me. “Garrett, seriously you don’t have to move away.” Cal tries to reason sounding like he means it and not like he’s annoyed by my behavior. Again, not buying it. 

“I know.”

Cal shakes his head, but takes my hand in his letting our hands rest in the space between us. I don’t know what it is about hand holding that I enjoy so much. It’s a rather simple gesture when you get down to, a small show of affection compared to other things, but it’s always been something I really enjoy in a relationship. It’s grounding and connecting, plus Cal’s hands are soft and cold and just fits. So when Cal grabs my hand this time, it draws a breath I’ve been holding out taking some tension away with it.

There’s a moment when I try to focus on knowing I have his hand and his mom out of the room, but then she’s not back and Cal runs his thumb across the back of my hand absentmindedly. I turn to look at him, really look at him drawing my knee up to the couch so that I’m sitting sideways to face him. He arches an eyebrow at me, but catches my eyes.

“You know, if I’d know I’d have this hard of a time kissing you with your parents around, I wouldn’t have come out.” I try to say it as even as I can, very serious. Cal screws up his face in confusion that’s founded on a pit of worry, before I can’t keep a straight face anymore. 

“You’re not funny.” He yanks his hand away and shoves at me for making him worry, but I catch his hand when he tries to do that and pull him towards me. There’s a bit of a shoving match tangled with laughter and silly threats, but ultimately, Cal ends up having his back pressed to my chest, sitting sideways like me. I have my arms wrapped tight around him holding on to him like I need him breath.

Cal has to lean his head back on my shoulder to look up at me properly, “what do you think your doing? My mom is home.” He teases back and I almost let go of him, but he has his hands holding onto my arms in front of his chest so even if I really wanted to, it would be a struggle. 

“Shut up.” I laugh, dropping my head onto his shoulder letting the room disappear from sight while my panic floods away to give away to embrassessment. I can feel his breath when he laughs softly directly into my ear. “You’re mean to me.” I mumble, but he laughs again and kisses me on the cheek so I guess he’s really not that mean.

“Oh, hey mom.” Cal says. He needs to stop teasing me.

“Don’t do that, dude.” I groan, “you know she makes me nervous. I don’t even know what it is, she seems nice and all, but I can just tell she doesn’t like me.”

“Is that right?” 

Fuck that  _ is  _ his mom. I don’t look up, just tense and let my stomach drop. Maybe if I don’t look up, this falls into the whole I can’t see you so you can’t see me thing. It’s not working. I can still feel her looking at me.

Slowly, winching I do look up to find Cal’s mom standing near the other side of the couch. A glance at Cal shows that he’s deliberately not looking at me but he’s still holding my arms so I realize it’s guilt forming on his face. “Hey Mrs. Price….doing well tonight?”

“Well enough.” And I can only tell she’s amused because she has the same quirk to her lips as Cal does when he’s amused. “Are you staying for dinner, Garrett? Unless you think this is part of some conspiracy where I’m trying to rid my son of you.”

“Uh, well I didn’t think that until you said it.” I blink a few times as Cal instantly chastises his mom. 

She just laughs in the way that one does when someone else has seem to jump past the truth, when the joke is lost. “Oh, darling. I’m not out to get you. I promise. I think Cal would stop talking to me if I did that judging by the things he’s told me.” Cal’s mom has a thin smile. It’s one I’ve seen her wear often, but it’s not until right now that I realize it’s a good, real smile.

That really puts the last few visits in a different perspective. So maybe she doesn’t hate me.

“Mom.” Cal’s voice is all tight as it had been when he chastised her for scaring me, except now it’s a little warmer, a little higher and when I spare a glance sideways I can see he’s getting red. It makes me smile knowing I’m not the only one embrassassed right now.

“Wait, what things do you tell your mom about me?” I ask, my interest peaked. Cal elbows me and I goan as I fall back away from him to lean against the couch’s arm maybe a little more dramatically than necessary. But it gets the desired effect as Cal’s mom tell hims not to be physically abusive and then repeats her question about dinner.

“Uh, sure - if you really don’t mind.” I spare a few glances at Cal trying to judge if he’s okay with me staying.

Cal’s mom nods, “Good. About time my husband and I get to official meet you.” I almost take back my acceptance. She’s at the door of the living room when she adds on, “Make sure your parents are okay with you staying.”

A different sort of worry settles into me, the worry that has a real fondation. I sit back up, leaning in a way so that I can look Cal in the face. “Uh, does your parents know about mine?” I ask, my voice dropping low so not to let the words carry.

Cal shakes his head, catching the worry I don’t have displayed on my face. “No, I didn’t think it was my place to do so. I wasn’t sure how they’d react.” And that makes a lot of sense. I know Bram hasn’t told his mom, only to me practically begging him not to, because she would have to do something about it. Call the police, child services, my sister. I don’t know. Maybe even actually talk to my parents or offering me a room to stay in for a bit. All of that...it might be the better thing to do, but it would just make everything messy. It doesn’t have to be messy, it doesn’t have to be more than it already is.

Besides with Cal’s parents it could mean that might want us to stop seeing each other out of concern for their own son’s safety. Even if Cal doesn’t come over to my house, even if my parents don’t even know his name. 

“Okay, good… I think.”    



	6. Thanksgiving

**XX Middle of November::** **  
** **Thanksgiving is the time for Family, People.**

  
  


Garrett’s sister comes down. She mentions maybe, Garrett coming to live with her and her family.

Garrett has Cal over when he’s left to watch the girls. They talk about family, about them.

During Thanksgiving Prep, Garrett is tired of the snide comments and comments about moving and sits outside on the back porch. David comes out and assures Garrett that Nicole is just worried, that he always has a room at their place, even gives him a key to the guest house.

Inside, the girls mention meeting Cal and Garrett’s mom storms out into the backyard, yelling at Garrett. Nicole on her tail - she tells David to go inside, to help her dad calm the girls. While their mom and Nicole fight over Garrett, Garrett leaves - running out the back gate.

He end up at the park that’s in walking distance of his house, without his phone or keys or wallet.

Bram shows up - says Nicole called him, asking if he knew where Garrett was. She sounded really panicked. What happened? And Garrett explains the situation, says a bit more, opens up a little bit more about what’s happening at home to Bram.

Bram is quite, taking it in before finally telling Garrett to stand up, that they’re going home, to Bram’s home. Garrett protests, Bram’s family is there. Bram insists, “come on, you can finally meet Johan.” Bram’s brother. “Are you sure? What… what are you going to tell your parents about why I’m there?”

  
  
  
  


Garrett is with Cal, Bram, Simon, Nick? After soccer on their way to meet Leah and Abby at WaHo. He gets a call from David. “No way - you guys have to come down here. There’s no way I can come up there and still come home to my stuff being in that house. Tell Nicole that as far as you and her and the girls are concerned this holiday is the same as it’s always been. Nicole  _ doesn’t get to  _ fight me on this.”

He finishes the call in the parking lot and with the others go inside and it gets everyone talking about thanksgiving plans.

Nicole and Garrett have an argument about her involvement in his welfare

Garrett babysits his nieces and Cal visits since David and Nicole are out to lunch with Nicole’s parents. This is the first time I’ve seen your room, Garrett.

Lilliana and Katalina end up mentioning Cal and Garrett’s mom throws a huge fit that leads to him and his mom getting into a big argument. How dare you bring that boy near the girls.

The next day, on thanksgiving, they practically avoid each other to the point that Garrett gets up from the table before actually eating and goes to sit outside on the porch.

David comes out with a plate for him and they talk, David knowing that he can always come up to the ranch. Even if it’s just for a weekend to get away. Don’t even have to give us a warning - here’s a key to the guest house out back that you can use anytime and a key to the house as well. Can even bring your boyfriend, if you want. We’d love to met him.

They talk about Nicole too, about how she means well, but David does agree this isn’t her fight no matter how much she wants it to be so that it doesn’t have to be Garretts. David promises to talk to her.

Garrett and Nicole talk the next morning when they’re both up early. Apologizes and thank yous and how Nicole is jealous the girls got to meet Cal and she doesn’t. They all pack up and leave at noon. Garrett’s mom goes to her parents for supper there as tradition. She heads up early to help set up.

Garrett’s dad tells Garrett that it’s best he doesn’t come. It’s okay, I kinda figured I wasn’t invited. Garrett and his dad talk a little to the point that Garrett almost thinks he could win his dad back, realize that his dad doesn’t hate him or the fact that he’s pan just that he’s in the middle of the two people he loves the most. Garrett can almost understand why he’s choosing his mom over Garrett who’s leaving the house in a few years. Almost. Mostly he’s just mad at his parents and sad.

Talk to Cal at the end maybe? Go over to his house? I don’t really want to come inside - I’m kinda a mess and I don’t want to meet your parents even a little like this.


	7. Winter Holiday Chapter

**December ::** **  
** **Winter Holidays**

December 1st Friday through December 31st Sunday

####  XX Three

December 14th Thursday through December 15th Friday

I can hear Leah, Abby, Bram, and Nick up in the kitchen grabbing drinks and snacks for the movie that we’re all laid around Nick’s basement for. Spier and Cal are to my right talking in smiles, with Spier on the two seater caddy corner and Cal on the couch besides me. His body warm against my sides due to the layers of clothing he’s wearing still despite being inside now. 

I had discarded my thick jacket and gloves besides the basement door the moment I could leaving me in a dark green long sleeve thermal and jeans. I’m not a fan of feeling too hot - with cold weather I can at least always just put on more clothes. I’m actually thinking up pushing my sleeves up to my elbows since there’s so many of us around, but I don’t with my attention taken up by the game I’m playing on my phone.

It’s not a difficult game, just some popular puzzle game with way too many levels that I can lose my head to easily enough. It’s a little addicting, creates this hazy feeling that almost feels like nothing in my head, and I have found myself pulling out my phone to play the game whenever I can. I’m settling into that feeling now, letting in only the warmth of Cal being near me. 

I’m startled when Cal nudges my arm. That feeling of nothing hanging onto my fingers and lashes as I turn to look at him, slowly shifting my focus. “Simon wants to know if you and I want to go ice skating with him and Bram this weekend.” He asks softly.

I scrunch up my face a little, letting the words register. I see what Spier’s doing here and a glance over to him confirms that he’s not trying to be sublet in getting the double date he hasn’t stopped asking about since I came out with Cal. It probably would have happened sooner, except with everything else going on, there wasn’t really a good time. 

Now that things are settling, he’s been bringing it up again, and it’s not like I’m against the idea. In fact, the only real problem I see with this is that, “Bram won’t go ice skating.”

Spier doesn’t even wait for me to finish my sentence. “But if he says yes - will you be up for it?” He asks around an easy smile and red cheeks from lingering cold.

“But Bram won’t say yes.” I challenge, sure of myself, only for the other four to file down the stairs hands full of food and drinks. The look on Bram’s face says he caught his own name in our conversation. Not surprising, after depositing the items in his hands onto the table while sitting down next to his boyfriend, Bram asks what it is that ‘he won’t say yes to’.

“To ice skating for a double date.” I put in before Spire or Cal can, having expected the question.

Bram blinks a few times in surprise, and he stalls in response by grabbing a handful of popcorn from the bowl on the coffee table he just put down. Shrugging, “I mean, if you want to go ice skating, I’ll go.” He’s looking at Spier so he’s totally missing my look of astonishment at his words.“It might even be fun.” Bram tacks on getting a bright smile of Spier for it.

“What?” I get the three of their attentions now, though I had never lost Cal’s. “I’ve been trying to get you to try ice skating for the last two years.” I’m not really offended, surprise for sure, but not offended. However, I play my agitation up with exaggerated hand motions. 

“You see, Garrett, you just had to ask him while also sleeping with him.” Abby teases jumping into the conversation from where she’s sitting on the floor besides Leah. Bram and Spier’s faces heat up at her words and I wonder for a second if they have slept together in that manner. They’ve been together as long as Cal and I have been interacting, but both Cal and I have had previous relationships and are tactile people, and while we’ve done a good amount of things that involve a lack of clothes, it’s not like we’ve actually done  _ that _ .

Those thoughts are fleeting though as I immediately say, “I’ve slept with him,” and immediately regret it. Spier and Nick look startled and completely confused while shock just covers Abby’s face. Leah and Cal seem to recognize my mistake instantly, because they both roll their fucking eyes while Bram shakes his head a little frantic. “That’s not what I meant. I meant - actual sharing, not dating or fucking around. Not that. Fuck.”

“Garrett.” Bram groans as he drops his head into his hands. 

“Don’t - I already explained. It’s just sharing and I refuse to sleep on the floor or on the couch, dude. Your bed is so comfortable. I’d live there if I could. I’m serious.” I’m rambling. I know that, but I’m also going to keep talking until I lose the heat in my face, because wow I can’t believe I just said that. 

Nick and Abby are trying really hard not to laugh and are outright failing. I think I have to stop being their friend. Spier still looks a little uncomfortable, but I think that’s from secondhand embarrassment rather than my actual words. He has a hand on Bram’s back moving in soothing circles as if Bram needs comfort. Leah is at least trying not to laugh at me, but if she keeps rolling her eyes at everything I say she’s going to get them stuck.

“Should I be worry?” Cal asks with humor in his voice. I snap my attention and head to him, unamused by how much he seems to be enjoying this. 

“I don’t like you.” 

Cal’s smile deepens and he leans to knock his shoulder with mine, “I don’t think that’s true.” 

“It is.” I assure him with complete seriousness, thank you, falling back into the couch until I’m slouched down, phone discarded in my lap, with my arms crossed because my friends are mean and I can’t think before I talk. 

Cal shifts so that’s at edge of his seat. “Well if that’s the case, I should probably go to - ” I cut him off by grabbing around his waist, pulling him backwards into me, his back hitting the side of my chest.

“I said I don’t like you, not that I want you to go.” I correct speaking into the his jacket, head dipped down to press the curve of his shoulder across my eyes. He places one of his arms over mine and breaths with laughter.

He must turn his head, because when he speaks his words move through my hair softly, “I’m not going anywhere.” I raise my head off his shoulder and his face is close enough to kiss so I do just that until I leave behind a smile on both our lips. We resettle, sitting up a little more properly, without removing my arms around him so that he’s leaned into me and his warmth spreads over my chest rather than my side. 

“Before anyone else embarrasses themselves, let’s start the movie.” Nick thankfully says with the remote in hand. When he’s not met with any protests, he starts the film.

It’s after the movie, after we’ve said goodbyes, when I’m pulling on my thicker coat and teasing Cal about how he’s pulled on another jacket over the layers he’s already wearing just outside in Nick’s driveway that the prospect of ice skating is brought back up. I had kinda forgot about it, forgot that it technically hadn’t gotten settled beforehand. 

Spier emerges from the outside door to the basement holding Bram’s hand. He scans the driveway and after finding Cal and I not far off pulls Bram over to us. “So ice skating this weekend? Yes?” He asks once he’s close enough for us to hear him.

“Yeah. I think it will be fun to go with all four of us, Simon.” Cal answers for us and I grin thrilled at the idea that he feels comfortable enough to speak for us as a couple. Especially, since he’s so careful not to speak on other’s behalf to the point that he doesn’t make obvious assumptions. 

“Excuse me?” I lose the indignation I’m trying for, unable to keep a straight face, too proud and happy.

Cal raises an eyebrow at me, there’s a moment of questioning on his face in those ocean pools he has for eyes, but I can see it tumble beneath the waves as he takes me in. “Yes, Garrett?”

“When did I agree to this?” 

“You don’t remember? You definitely agreed. Don’t you recall?” The last question is at our friends and Spier is already nodding with a smile that takes up his whole face. Bram just meets my eyes and gives a little shrug as if to say ‘what are we to do’ and I have to admit that, yeah, okay I was totally going to agree if for nothing else because Cal wanted to go. I also like ice skating or attempting to ice skate anyways. My previous doubts had been mainly about knowing that I hadn’t been able to get Bram to agree to go before. 

I playfully groan, “fine, fine,” tugging Cal closer to me as I generally prefer it when he isn’t far away from me. He willingly steps into my space, wrapping his arms around my waist beneath my open jacket, face pressed to my chest. I’m like ninety percent sure, he’s just using me for warmth at this point, “but I better get hot chocolate out of this.”

I don’t hear Cal laugh, but I feel it as he gives himself enough room to look up at me. I put my arms around his shoulders so that he can’t go too far, “absolutely. For your sacrifice you deserve at least that.”

“I’m glad you understand my plight.” 

Bram shakes his head clapping me on my shoulder at the words as he steps past us towards the cars with Spier, “alright with that agreed upon, we’ll see you then.” 

Except he pauses when I point at him over Cal’s head, dropping my hand back to Cal the moment I see him register me. “Hey, I’m still upset with you  _ suddenly  _ agreeing to go ice skating this year.” I warn him.

“You just agreed because of Cal right now - how is that different?”

I can’t help but squeeze Cal a little tighter to me at the mention of his name despite not looking away from Bram. “Well first, Cal  _ is _ sleeping with me,” I laugh as I see color dust across Bram’s face and for a second, Bram looks like he has a question to those words but it’s swallowed down. Spier laughs pressing his face into Bram’s upper arm holding onto him by his bicep tighter repeating Abby’s name and damn a few times. Cal mumbles something against my chest, but I can’t make out the words. I do feel him shake his head though. “Second and more importantly, because I haven’t refused to go before now,” I inform him.

Bram opens his mouth to argue, but can’t seem to find what to say which I know would never happen if he got to put his response in written word. Spier saves him right now though. “Enjoy the hot chocolate you’re getting, Garrett. We’ll text to get it set up, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay, Spier. We’ll text.” I agree with a fond shake of my head as the two make their way to Spier’s car.

I squeeze Cal’s shoulder until I know I have his attention, looking down at him I meet his eyes. He arches an eyebrow at me regarding the serious expression I have on my face. “I want marshmallows in my hot chocolate.”

I don’t think Cal can tell that I’m very serious about this, because after what feels like three too many heartbeats his face lights up as he laughs at me going to bury his face into my chest again. “Of course. It’s the only way to have hot chocolate.” He agrees, laughter hanging onto his words making them sweet. I kiss the top of his head, which is covered with this worn dark blue beanie that looks really good on him.

We settle into a bit of a silence, just holding onto each other, then. I hear Spier’s car pull out of the driveway. I’m pretty content to just stay like this as light flurry starts to fall down around us, but Cal speaks up after a shiver runs the full length of his body a second time. “Can we go? I’m cold.”

I step back, letting our arms extend out while still holding onto each other. I kiss his cheek,“oh, you’re cold - well, it’s a good thing I know several ways to warm you up.”

I greatly enjoy getting to see his eyes darken at my words, how he bites down on one side of his lips as he regards me. “Do you now?”

“I absolutely do, Cal, and I know it might sound counterintuitive, but most of the ways involve way less clothes than what we have on now.” He grins looking at me like he can’t believe me, but it’s all fond and hot and I really want to kiss him properly. I don’t get to because he chooses that moment to detach completely from me. 

“I hope these ways also include indoors.” 

“Wouldn’t you know it, I think they do.” 

If we get into my truck a little quickly after those words who’s to blame us really. I turn up the heater as soon as I can for him, but before I throw my truck into gear, Cal tugs on my collar until I give him my attention enough for him to kiss me more than thoroughly. 

I wonder if it’s ever going to not feel like this when Cal kisses me. How my world seems to grow significantly smaller until its only made up of Cal and I, while, also feeling like nothing in the universe is bigger than this moment. Cal’s gloved hands pressed against my face, and I realize that I’m wrong. It doesn’t feel the same kissing Cal now as it did before. It’s so much better.

It’s always better. Each time, it’s better, but it also has that lingering sense of familiarity to it, all that weights right in my chest that makes me want to believe in fairytales living in the real world.

I let out a low moan when Cal bites my lip, parting them to let him slip in his tongue. I tilt my head to press in closer to him, let one of my hands tangle in his shirt. I want to rush things, pull him closer, kiss him harder, dirtier, but he keeps control keeping the kiss slow and heavy leaving our lips slick and swollen. 

Suddenly, Cal breaks the kiss grinning and I take the chance to bring air into my burning lungs. “I can’t believe you told Bram and Simon that we’ve slept together.”

“Technically, I mean, we have. It’s not like I said we’ve had actual sex,” I defend with a teasing smile trying to tell if he’s really upset with me or not. It doesn’t look like it. There’s no tension hiding at the corners of his mouth or set in his jaw which usually tells me something’s wrong.

He shakes his head at me, before slowly falling into just looking at me. Blue ocean eyes dance over my features and suddenly Cal looks nervous, maybe a little shy as he takes a short breath. Not dropping my gaze, “maybe we should change that,” and I was most certainly not expecting that.

My jaw drops a little as I just stare at him, searching his face in trying to figure out what he just said to me.

I blink, except I must sit with my eyes closed for longer than the second, because one moment Cal is looking shy but is keeping my eyes and the next it looks like he’s trying not to look down but also not at me so his eyes dart from over one of my shoulders to the next then down to his hands on my face and chest and then around the merry go round again.

“Seriously?” It doesn’t really sound like a real word, but rather just this weird noise that sprouts from my mouth, but thankfully Cal seems to understand. He doesn’t speak again, just nods, and fuck. I reach out to cradle his face in my hands and lean in to kiss him slow and heated until I’m smiling too hard to actually kiss him properly so I just say, “fuck yeah, Cal,” against his lips.

I can feel tension leave Cal as he relaxes into my touch, feel a smile form on his lips. He kisses me once more quickly, before I lean away a little, drop one of my hands to his shoulder, to take in more of his expression.

I start to feel giddy, all airy and hot and overwhelmed and I’m trying to stop giggling the next second. He joins me right after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes this was going to end in smut. Yes I wrote it.  
> I prolly won't post it - it's not messy enough for a first time, lol. There should be mistakes and awkwardness and laughs.


	8. Memories with Mom

**End of December:: Memories with Mom**

December 22nd

It’s late and I’m not expecting anyone to be up, but I stop dead just on the inside of my front door, my brain picking up the extra warmth and soft light of the room. Turning on my heels, my shoulders sink with exhaustion at seeing my mom sitting in the open living room. 

She’s pulled one of the armchairs up to the fireplace, fitting it in between the stonework, couch, and coffee table awkwardly. There’s a half empty wine glass besides a book spread downward to keep her place on the coffee table, her hair is tied up, feet bare and tucked up under her with eyes the same as mine watching the flames dance with the shadows.

It’s an odd sight and it makes me feel uncomfortable for some reason I can’t pinpoint. As if I’ve interrupted some important self-growth or maybe some murder scene on a movie screen. As if it’s something I shouldn’t have stumbled upon.

I don’t think my mom realizes I’m there, so I’m about to slink off towards the hall to my room as quietly as I can not to disturb her when I hear her voice, “Christmas was always my favorite time of year when you and your sister were younger. Do you remember making cookies with me and Nicole - you were so young?” 

The words startle me more than her speaking does.

Slowly with hesitancy in each step I walk into the living room. I walk around the back of the couch, but with her movement of the other furniture I can’t do much else but sit on the arm, so I do that hands falling into my lap - twisting and turning against each other.

“Yes. I remember that… Nicole would always try to put all these different things - orange juice, blackberries, cherrio’s - into the cookies. You always told her not to ruin the cookies, but then you’d pull out some of the dough for her to add her mix to.” I confess, a strange sense of warmth hitting my chest that I can’t blame on the fire. It’s a good memory, but it’s hard for me to put the woman in front of me into that memory - the woman who had her hands covered in flour, the woman who would praise me for stirring the batter so ‘well’, the woman who sprinkled sugar on top of my and my sister’s head commenting on how ‘sweet’ we were.

“Your dad would always eat them too, even though they were awful.” It has to be a trick of the light, but for a moment I think I see my mom smile.

I don’t know what to say after that. The line ending our conversation, but I can’t let go of this sense of calm I’m getting with my mom. I haven’t had it in  _ so _ long. I don’t want to give it up again, but the silence is getting noticeable and I’ve seen her eyes flicker to me for seconds at a time as if to make sure I’m still there.

“I did like making cookies with you two, but the best part of the holidays - for me anyways, was sitting down with you on Christmas Eve with hot chocolate and way too many marshmallows. We’d do a run through of our year for each other - our favorite parts, some things that hurt, improvements. 

“Sometimes, over these last few years, I realize you have something going on that you don’t tell your father or me about and I want to ask so bad, but I stop myself because I know that you might not tell me then, but come Christmas Eve you’d willingly tell me…

“I loved getting to know you that way.”

Neither one of us say anything about the silent tears slipping down my cheeks or how unbelievable sad she looks right now.

I don’t know what makes me do it, but I pick up her wine glass. “We don’t have hot chocolate, but we have half a glass of wine… and, and I’d really like to talk to you about some things.” 

When she doesn’t stop me, just watches me with curiosity, I continue, “

“Why were you out so late? Were you with that… that boy?”

“Yes… but, no, I mean, I was earlier… he broke up with me and so I just drove for a bit.” I confess quiet and shaking.

My mom turns her head to look at me then, even reaches out with one of her hands as if she’s going to offer me a comforting touch only to stop herself short of actually connecting with me withdrawing her hand back into her lap. 

“Why did he do that?”

And I think about lying, about something vague, but I don’t. “Because of you.” She doesn’t look shocked at all at my words, chin lifting up in a moment in thought, before nodding just a fraction, looking away. “Or well, because of me - it’s just… it’s just that I’ve always been more like you than Dad.”

“You are.” She agrees so quietly I almost don’t hear her.

“I love him mom.” I tell her and it feels weird to have those words cross my lips for the first time.

“I know. I can see it.”

Silence.

“Mom, do you think… do you think that we’ll ever be okay again?”

For a moment I don’t think she’s heard me, but then she turns to look at me trying to read me like the book she forgot on the table between us. She matches my gaze and it’s just as sad as the one I think I’m wearing. I know her answer before she says it, can see it form behind her eyes, make it’s way down to her heart and then come back up to her mouth where her tongue twists the answer into words. 

“No. I don’t think so, honey.” There isn’t hatred in the words, nothing toxic or spoken with only intent to harm. They’re just… they’re just the truth of the moment.

I drop my gaze and I feel her look back to the fire, silence hitting us, hitting me hard. 

She doesn’t say anything, doesn’t call me back when I stand and walk away from her.


	9. Spring Break

**XX Beginning of March ::** **  
** **Maybe Big Fight + Recovery**

XXX

Spring Break

Simon and Bram return the favor from the summer and drive Cal up to see Garrett, whos’ visiting his sister for the week. They show up and meet Nicole, Kat, and Lily - Garrett and David are out on the fourwheeler and dirtbike. They said they’re checking the boundaries, but they’re just screwing around, I’d bet you - Nicole - but they should be back soon. David knows when dinner is.

The three go in and play with the girls, help Nicole with setting the table - she asks Cal a lot of questions (the last time I saw you, we weren’t really able to talk given the situation) Cal asks about the land (family ranch of Davids. He takes care of the cattle and I do all the paperwork for deliveries now a days. We outsource part of the land to farmers out west, cow deliveries, and stuff for the horse stables. We let people rent stalls and we take care of them, etc. Oh, I’ll have to take you out there or David - Garrett is absolutely afraid of the horses. One of them bit him when he was young, I was just getting serious with David then, and he’s not forgiven the whole species yet)

They hear the engines and get back out to the front. Garrett stops the bike with a large kick up of dirt, sees Cal, and the cool affect is sort of lost as he stumbles off the bike, letting it tip over to get over to Cal. “What are you doing here?” He asks cupping his face and immediately kissing Cal. Cal laughs and nods over to Spier and Bram - Spier says he’s returning the favor. 


	10. Cal

Cal is resting his head on my chest, just resting his body on mine. I have an arm around his shoulders, fingers drawing unrecognizable pictures onto his skin, with my other arm thrown back to cradle my head. We’re both wearing only our boxes - the rest of our clothes are scattered on the floor of Cal’s room - with the comforter pulled up high to keep us warm now that we’ve cleaned ourselves up and the heat that had built up between us was used up and fading.

Neither one of us has said anything in the last ten minutes now, content and comfortable and I can feel Cal start to slip off to sleep. Despite the calm and and feeling spent and happy myself, I’m wide awake staring off into space as my head rocks with thoughts that all run a little too quick for me to hold onto.

I don’t particularly want to hold onto them. They aren’t… they aren’t what someone would normally thinks about after really good sex with someone they really care about. And it was really good. And I do really care about Cal. But, I guess, it’s that care that has me thinking like this right now, because while Cal is without a doubt the best thing in my life and I’m so much better with him than when I’m not, I’m not really sure if I’m good for him. 

Taylor had said something earlier this week to me that I haven’t been able to get off my mind.

“Of course, Cal said it was okay,” She had said, her tone making it clear she was definently talking down to me, “ to him, it’s never anyone’s fault but his own. I don’t expect you to be able to convince him otherwise,” She had taken a step to me, arms crossed, and while I’m bigger than her all around, I was suddenly unsure if I would win in a fight, “but I do expect you to understand that what you did was not okay, that you have something to make up for, that you fix this.”

The conversation had gone on for a bit longer then, denial and worry causing me to push back, until I folded admitting she was right. I knew she was right the moment she spoke though.

“Cal?” I breath, needing the thoughts out of my head, needing answers and a conversation. He makes a sound that I think is suppose to be a word, sleeping pulling at the edges. I take it as a prompt to continue, “why don’t you ever let me apologize?”

Cal makes another a noise that’s all confused and I can feel him coming back to the land of the awake, muscles tensing and stretching. “What? I let you apologize.”

“No, you don’t. I say I’m sorry and you just tell me that it’s okay, that I don’t need to apologize. You don’t ever accept it.” 

“Because I don’t need to.”

“Why?” And when Cal’s quiet too long I add, “is it because you think I don’t need to be sorry? That it’s not my fault?”

“Cal, you know it’s okay to be mad at me right, especially when I deserve it? I’m not going to be upset over that.”

“Why are you talking about this?”

“Because I’m worried about you.”

“What?”

“You brush off all these things, tell me it’s not my fault - does that mean you think it’s your fault? I don’t want you taking blame when you shouldn’t be, espeically if it’s suppose to be mine.

Cal starts something very physical, says something that’s off and Garrett stops it, “what? Wait, is that why you’re doing this? Cal I’m not - I’m not with you just because I think you’re hot. No, wait, listen - I know this situation is fucked up, but do you really think I’m going to break up with you if you don’t do this?” // “No, no - I just want to offer… you’ve pushed Bram away and I just wanted to give you something so you wouldn’t do that with me.” //“I didn’t tell my parents because I want to sleep with you, Cal. I want to be with you - I want to be with you the way you deserve to be with Cal and that’s not, that’s not like this.”// “And how is that?” // “Unashamed, proud… Cal you’re so amazing and I’m going to keep telling you that until you actually believe me because I can see you don’t and I don’t know why that is and if you want to tell me, then I’m totally here to listen, but if you don’t that’s fine too I’ll wait because you’ve been so patient with me, I could learn to do the same with you… why, why are you crying?” // Cal doesn’t answe right away, just buries his face into my neck.


End file.
